Firstly I have been stalling somewhat about getting on with the next chapter in my journey with the twins! I thought I would give myself a break over the Christmas/ New Years break from confronting it in word. However I feel like I need not have bothered as I today I am having a bad day as it is, I figured getting on to my blog may just help work the feelings out and allow it pass soon. So here we are the next chapter.......
Second last week of May 2008 and I was starting to struggle and not feeling right. I had sharp pain in my back, I felt as though I was running hot and cold, I was going to the toilet even more then what I would of expected with my pregnancy. I took myself off to the doctors and after checking me out and with my symptoms being ambiguous he treated me for what he thought was an UTI. I spent the follow 36hours trying to rest but in a lot of pain, the pain got worse and I was started suffering pain on my stomach. We had called the doctors office and advised of my concerns and that I wanted to come back in but was told I wouldn't be able to see anyone until late that afternoon. Sitting at home waiting for the afternoon to come and the pain I was in was increasing so much so to a point that I just felt so concerned that an ambulance was called to take me to hospital. I spent 8 hours in emergency that day waiting around and being checked out by several doctors etc. I had a fast scan by the bedside done which confirmed our little ladies (although we didn't know they were girls at that point) were moving around just fine and they were all good. I felt assured by this and felt that if everything was ok with them, there just must not be something right with me. The whole emergency department visit resulted in them not being able to explain what was happening to me and sending me home. I was told that if things got worse or I had discharge etc to come straight back.
What I am about to say I kick myself for but foolishly the next day I dragged myself into work, I didn't want to be there but I was trying to do my part (perhaps another downfall on my part trying to be too much of a team player). I came home from work that day and literally said to DH I am having a shower and getting into bed. I had dinner in bed and rested the night away in total and complete discomfort. Note I said rested, because there wasn't much sleep. I even tried sleeping in the recliner that DH had shifted up into our bedroom for me....no such luck. At around 6am I get up to use the toilet and find that I had some pinkish discharge. I realise this could be cause for concern but could also be completely normal for my pregnancy, I try not to let my thoughts carry away. I go about my business and get ready for the day and pop into the work before doing anything I go to the toilet again and there is more pinkish discharge this time. I call DH and the ER and I am told to go straight back in. I spend the day in ER being tested and all regular stats being monitored. We wait all day until early evening when finally and OB doc is free to come down and see me.
Finally we are sitting with an OB doc she has checked me out and done another bedside scan and internal exam and makes the decision that since its my second time to present at the ER in the matter of days I would be admitted so they could get to the bottom of things. She is a lovely Doctor and proceeds to have a very serious chat with us about our pregnancy. She advises us that there will be no chance whatsoever of a natural birth because of them sharing the same sac and placenta.....they are each others life line for survival. I will be having them by cesarean, we are told that unless I go earlier I will be extremely lucky to make it to 30 weeks (at this stage I am somewhere between 18 - 20 weeks) and if I do the docs will not let me proceed past 32 - 34 weeks. She also warns me that I wouldn't be having these babies in this hospital but I would be having them in Brisbane and I would be with my babies in Brisbane for sometime.
Wow that is heavy information to digest but we are still positive and optimistic and we are up for whatever it is to bring our little ones safely into this world. Maternity ward and doctors debate about whether or not I will be admitted on to the Maternity ward or regular ward as they have a policy that you must be clear of 22 weeks. But the decision is made and assume ably because of my high risk status that I will be admitted to maternity I send DH on his way home and I try to sleep that night on a ward with other mums who have just had their babies.