Thursday, February 18, 2010

Booby Update

Our re lactation efforts are at a bit of a standstill at the moment, for the last week Cohen has been severely teething. He has gone from being interested in the boob wanting to have a few sucks, to seeing anything that comes in a short distance of his mouth as an opportunity to bite it. We were at a point with the re lactating until this happened were I was able to get him off the bottle during a feed to my boob for a few sucks. But now I am just living in ouchie town. You see his biting has been sever and he has been biting everything and everybody, regardless of if he is happy or sad or in between. I have been covered in little bruises all over my body from my legs and arms to my tummy and my thighs.....everywhere. In fact he has attacked my thighs on several occasions now and has drawn blood. Our lounge room furniture has even been getting a bit of bad treatment as well.

It has been hard to manage all this, I have been doing everything I can to try and assist him at the moment with his teething and biting. I offer and provide him things to chew on and cold teething rings etc......but nooooo mummy's flesh seems to be the most interesting thing around. When he has been biting me everywhere else (but my boob) I have been letting out a big ouch and sad/angry face. He of course doesn't like this grunts and whinges because he has been told off. As for the boob everything was going along ok and we were making slow progress as I mentioned, until the biting got too bad and he could feel the tension in me. So sadly I don't know where we stand right now, we are kind of back to square one again as I haven't been able to offer up boob like I was (besides mummy has needed some healing). I have been maintaining the routine we initially established for re lactating in regards to the position I hold him, the way I am feeding him with bottle teat against my breast beside my nipple and other little tricks. I have kept everything the same so that the offer and opportunity is still there for him, if he is wanting it.

My mind has been going back and forth this week about whether the re lactation journey is already over before it really got a good start. But I did speak with ABA counsellor just before the biting started and she reminded me that the road to re lactating can be a long one and even after all the effort you can end up putting in, baby May no longer be interested. She warned me to be prepared for this, I guess I just wasn't prepared for the beautiful booby moments were starting to have again to turn into painful ones causing major issues. So where am I at now? What am I going to do? I feel that we have 3 options, first one is keep up the routine and little tricks we had established before the biting and see how we go. Secondly getting a better supply for decent expressing and seeing how we will go with that. I feel like this option may be a good contender since I was able to give him a tiny amount of expressed milk from a syringe (not enough to be bothered with a bottle) and he took it with no objection. So there is hope there that he still does like and want mummy milk. Thirdly just ditch all efforts all together. Since it was Cohen who re instigated interest in the boob I'm not prepared yet to walk away from this journey. He doesn't have words to tell me what he is wanting and how do I not know that this teething and biting is a interruption he preferred hadn't happened in the middle of getting his mummy's boobies back.

For now I think we will stay on the current path....a boob to suck on will be bare and on offer during his bottle feeds so he can go between the two if he wishes again. I think I will also concentrate on further efforts to express since he didn't have an objection to my breast milk. If he doesn't get back on the boob but I can have him taking more expressed breast milk, it's a fair compromise given the circumstances. Walking away from this whole effort.......well this isn't option until Cohen show signs he doesn't want my boob or expressed breast milk. If he doesn't want the boob or expressed breast milk there will be little else I can do. Finally if all this effort sees him remain on formula, I know one thing is for sure I can be proud of my efforts to re lactate. If all else fails at least this journey has given us some wonderful moments that few mothers get to experience again once having put their baby on formula full time. Regardless Cohen thank you for giving us both a second chance.

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