So I dropped a little bombshell on some of you last week didn't I? Some of you already knew of my pregnancy but where waiting for me to make more of a public announcement about it all. So anyways I thought I would bring you up to speed on other little bits and pieces and some ponderings of my mind and gripes of late.
So the other day I indicated that I think that Cohen might be weaning. I am still of the thought process that he is, even if it is only somewhat. He still comes into bed every morning after DH has gotten up to him and changed his nappy and bought him in. Cohen will have a bit of a feed but he is shortening it down some days to a few very quick minutes. I guess it also hasn't helped that if he has fed too long some mornings I have had to gently say to him "OK baby that's enough, no more" because long feeds make me want to be sick being pregnant again. So he is now often wanting to have his cuddles, a little bit of a suck and then wants milk in a cup instead. Some mornings if he has risen at 4am or so we can get him back to sleep for another hour to hour and half in bed with us (which is a godsend when we can). But most mornings he is up at 5am and that's where our day starts. As for his breastfeeding during the day he will still often want it coming up to nap times, but some days he just wants the comfort and cuddles and has booby then. His way of telling he wants booby now is to climb up onto my lap, tug at my shirt and nod. I will say to him "do you want booby?" and he will nod in reply. He is still having some booby before bed every night. So for the main part he is still a booby boy to a fair extent but he isn't feeding as much as he was and he can go all day without it until bed time in the evening. As I said in my previous post, who knows where we are going with this journey but he is the leader on this so I will follow him.
Still on the breastfeeding front but on another tangent I have started to get unsolicited, unwelcomed, unappreciated comments from others about their thoughts about Cohen still feeding with me pregnant. Apparently according to some "you'll have to give that up by the time the next one is here?" It's all in the tone of how that's being said, it's not a question, it's rather tainted with the disapproval of my declarations that I will continue to breastfeed Cohen as long as he wants including once bubs is here. It's always fascinating that these comments come from those who have never been breast feeders, but yet think they are well informed to sprout their opinions. At the end of the day it doesn't bother me, I am happy with my choices regardless of what others think and I have a wonderful husband who is both supportive and encouraging of our methods. But I won't lie that it does grate on ones nerves that the uninformed and uneducated on these matters are so opinionated on this matter......when in my opinion it has jack shit to do with them, it's not their boobs, their life, their time, their children. Anyways too bad I'm doing what I'm doing and that's that and I am very happy with that thanks........you can talk my ear off but you aren't changing my mind.
Enough of the breasty talk and onto matters of the mind, well at my mind and how I am coping with things regarding the pregnancy. As some of you may know I started seeing a psychologist a while back, well I have been seeing her near on every week since I started. She is helping me with managing my Post Traumatic Stress and other related and underlying issues. I have expressed to her that with this pregnancy I would like to possibly consider a natural birth (well it will be a VBAC), but a lot of work needs to be done to have my trauma and flashbacks under control. I don't really know at this point if I am going to be able to fulfil this desire of a natural birth, but I am not going to beat myself up over it if we end up going down the route of a plan c-section. I am also not going to be made to feel bad by others about that choice either. As far as I see it, I am the one that lives with me every day and I have been through more then enough in the last few years regarding all my children earthbound or not then beat myself up about a birthing choice. It's not like I haven't been through natural birth because I have, it just didn't end as one would dream. In fact it's not like I haven't been in natural labour in fact I have been........twice now. So at the end of the day I will make the decisions that are right for our situation as time progresses. Regardless of the birthing choice at the end of the day.........I will be proud of my choice because I know how much work and effort will have gone into that decision.
What and epic post thus far, I find myself still with plenty to share but one must look at retiring for the day at some point. I will check back in real soon and share further pondering and happenings with you all. Take care all and stay beautiful.