I just attended my ABA meeting for this month, this morning. It's so nice that our meetings are on a Friday now because Cohen is at family day care and it allows me to be a lot more hands on in our group. This post was prompted by some things I have been mulling over myself but more so by a conversation with one of the new mums that joined our meeting today.
I overheard her talking about her babies sleep "problems" and how things are difficult with her daughter, something I can definitely sympathise with. I offered some suggestions of things that have been suggested to me from other well meaning people. But it wasn't until I heard myself offering my "own" advice that I really heard my own voice and realised how we have found some calm with Sarah and her sleep "problems". I just told this new mum to stop worrying about the sleep, just got with the flow. Stop saying to yourself maybe when he/she gets their issue with their wind sorted maybe he/she will sleep through. Stop saying, wishing, hoping, mentally pleading that once he/she reaches other development points or milestones maybe they will sleep better.
It was at that point that I heard my own words clearly and realised that things have been so much better since I have dropped expectation in regards to sleep with Sarah and just let be what will be. As it is she still doesn't sleep through the night, feeds frequently and during the day she only will nap if I lay down with her to feed and that isn't always a given she will sleep either. I of corse try and provide opportunity and environment for to nap each day, but who knows on which day it will play out.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that life is a lot calmer with a baby when you drop expectation and just let life, that precious little life be and find their own way to what they are needing with your help, assistance and nurturing. When you just let things be, you just start getting on with things and stop sitting around complaining you're not getting anything done, because baby won't sleep.
To be honest right now in my life I have never been busier with being a SAHM, looking after my two, being wife, writing two blogs and trying to work on building my business as well as working on other plans and projects. I'm just so glad that I have stopped the sitting around hoping and praying Sarah will rest and sleep and I have just got in with it. As a result Cohen gets a better me because I'm not so worked up on getting his sister to sleep. I also just get to see and appreciate both my children in different and new ways and just accept that that sleep or no sleep this is who they are.
Cheekily as I post this though, I must share the above pic. We left our ABA meeting and within seconds of being in the car she fell asleep. So when we came home and I got her out of the car she stayed asleep, so I figured I would try putting her down. What do you know she has slept for an hour and just woke moments ago and is now feeding.......how's that for having no expectation, I got rewarded today.